In this issue, we take a look at the rapidly declining world of uniforms in The National Basketball Association. Can we just go back to short shorts? Everybody loves short shorts. Wait, what’s that? Not everybody loves short shorts? Well The Petroc does, and so does Chris Obekpa, so that’s all we have to say about that. Since that Golden Age of NBA fashion, then-commissioner David Stern has toyed with jerseys with sleeves and jerseys with players’ nicknames on the back instead of the traditional last names. The nixing of pinstripes on the Pacers, Magic, and Raptors uniforms have really upset many die-hards, including us. On top of all that, most of the league’s teams have seen their official logos changed at some point. In almost every case, the retro logo was far superior. The most tragic case is the modernizing of the Toronto Raptor. The one good thing Canada had going for them in the NBA, they messed up. Sheesh. Although the scores and the records of the teams are the most looked at stats, let us not forget about who comes in top for some Christmas themed uniforms.

Anyways, onto the rankings of Christmas Day 2014 uniforms. They can be seen here. *

1. Washington Wizards – Congratulations. You’re the best of the worst.

2. Los Angeles Lakers – You have to admit that the sweet purple and yellow combo looks really good on Robert Sacre. Plus, we’re kind of scared that Kobe will hunt us down Christmas night if these rankings looked anything like the real standings – with the Lakers at the bottom.

3. Golden State Warriors – We may just be suckers for sweet color combinations, but for us, it’s the logo that sells us on the Dubs. The Golden Gate Bridge with the sky blue background is such a classic look. Well done.

4. San Antonio Spurs – You have to respect the Spurs. They just put their heads down, go to work, and get the job done. Nothing flashy. Everything is black and white with Timmy & Co.

5. Cleveland Cavaliers – LeBron has always looked more natural in a Cavs uniform than a Heat one. In particular, the yellow Cavs jerseys have always fit him well. Since the TV cameras will not leave LeBron the whole game, how these jerseys look on Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, and the rest of the Cavs is irrelevant.

6. Oklahoma City Thunder – You’re not getting anything drastically different from the norm with these Christmas Day edition uniforms, so that’s good, right? Nothing too great, nothing too bad. Except for the fact that on the back of Kevin Durant’s uniform, you will just see ¨Kevin.¨ That’s pretty “turrible”.

7. Chicago Bulls – The Bulls come in at #7, but if the theme this year was the same as last Christmas’ theme, with player nicknames on the back of jerseys, then the Bulls would irrefutably be #1. Who wouldn’t want a Chicago Bulls rookie season edition ¨Dougie McBuckets¨ jersey?

8. Los Angeles Clippers – Too much red. The blue is too poppy. The logo leads naïve fans to refer to the Clips as the ¨LAC.¨ All-around poor performance from Adidas here.

9. Miami Heat – Let’s be honest. The Heat uniforms, in any format, have never been attractive. To make matters worse, Josh McRoberts is out for the season with a torn meniscus, so not even he will be there to save the day.

10. New York Knicks – You’re going to need a pair of sunglasses if you want to waste your precious Christmas Day watching the Knicks lose another close basketball game. This Tic-Tac-esque fashion faux pas of a uniform will surely give you a headache. Plan on crushing up some Advil and putting it in your holiday egg nog at half time.

*Note that we are only ranking the uniforms of the teams that actually play on Christmas Day.